How to handle criticism and correction.

Criticism and correction are two very hard things to receive.  Often we find ourselves on the defensive in either of these situations.  In fact some people fail to understand the difference between the two and do not know how to handle or respond to them.   It is on my heart today to share some of what God has taught me over the years on these issues.

The Critic ...  Often people in ministry especially seem to encounter this person.  They never seem to be happy with you, they find fault it seems in everything.  So often we tend to write such people off as those who just do not like or support us.  We describe them as difficult, complainers, antagonistic and negative.  They tend to be painted with a brush that places them in a camp of people who have no value to add and only cause problems or issues.   I am not going to say that there is no truth in any of that sentiment but I have come to realize that often people are mis-understood and the more they are mis-understood and they feel that no one is listening to them, they fall into a pattern of trying to be heard.  Often this pattern comes across as very negative and harsh.  Sure there are some that truly are just against us for some reason but many people labeled that way I think are unjustly labeled because of our lack of dealing with things properly.

When we interact with someone perceived as the Critic, we need to take some time to hear them, even if they are upset and we think they are totally off base.  They need to be heard and we need to listen to them for the nuggets of Truth rooted in what they are saying.  Even if someone has poor delivery of the information, there may be some Truth to it.  So we are first to listen to them.

Second we are to ponder what they are saying and truly ask ourselves and God if this is true and if it is then how am I to respond and if it is not how am I to respond.  We must take some time and not respond in a reactive defensive way.  If there is even a small amount of Truth present in the message we have received we need to acknowledge that and express what we intend to do about it.  The portions of the message that we believe are not valid need to be exposed as such, but in as loving and gracious a way as possible.

Third we must pray for the person who has brought this forward, that God would give them proper insight, patience and grace for others and that they would seek to honor God and learn how to interact with others in a healthy way.

The Correcter ... When we receive correction it is important that we not confuse it with criticism.  Too often people feel threatened by even loving and gentle correction and respond poorly.  Biblical Correction is always to be done in love and with grace for the person being corrected.  It is to follow much prayer and study to ensure that the correction is given properly.  When we receive this type of correction we need to respond positively with repentance and a desire to move in a fresh direction.  If you believe that the correction is not based on Truth and is incorrect then you must not get upset and defensive but rather you must expose any lies or mis-representations and proclaim Truth in return with grace and love for the other person.  Make sure you are walking in humility to receive correction properly, or we can sometimes place ourselves in a sinful prideful state by setting out our arguments of defense and winning over our corrector to see our side even if we are in the wrong.  Correction can come not because of our lack of Truth or Logic but because we may have a delivery that causes hurt or division with others.  So we must be even more receptive to correction in a healthy way so we can grow and not continue to hurt others.

Just like criticism can be unfounded so can correction, but both need to be dealt with properly.  I know this blog is not exhaustive on these matters and I do not consider myself an expert.  Rather I have had to learn a lot of these things the hard way, because I was critical, because I was prideful and did not receive correction well.  God can work in your life as He has in mine and crush a heart of stone and replace it with a heart of tender flesh.  

Keep short accounts with each other and walk in love.  Extend forgiveness for the wrongs done and the hurts caused.  If God has saved you and your accuser as well, then the same Spirit resides in you both and is grieved when we fail to show humility, grace and love toward one another.

Let us walk together

Pastor Bruce

Love God - Glorify God

Today I am pondering the worship of God.  The Bible in the book of Philippians chapter 2 verses 9 through 11 says this ... 

God has  highly exalted him and bestowed on him  the name that is above every name,  so that at the name of Jesus  every knee should bow,  in heaven and on earth and under the earth,  and  every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is  Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (ESV)

As I consider the challenge we have received from Jesus to "Love God", I begin to consider what that means, how do I do that?  My mind turns to passages like the one from Philippians above and I think about worship.  To Love God must include worship.  If we Love god we will demonstrate our Love in worship.  This will include our Sunday morning service, our singing, our prayer, our reading of the Bible, our hearing the teaching and preaching of the Word, but also a whole lot more. 

My Love for God is to display the Lordship of Jesus in my life. This is about a life of worship, not just a time of worship.  Everything I do is to be in worship, displaying my Love for God.  My thoughts conclude that this must be a part of my Love of God.  

Then I realize that I do not measure up to this.  I am not perfect in living a life of worship.  I am not even close.  I cannot even perfect a time of worship.  I find myself distracted and wound up in the wrong mindset.  Too often treating worship as something that "feeds me".  Something that is about what "I like".  Yet it is not supposed to be about me at all.  It is supposed to be about God.  About worshiping Him.  About His honor and glory.  Not about my preference, my style, my comfort.  Worship, like my life, is to be all about Love for God.

And so I sense conviction.  Conviction that I need to humbly walk in repentance for my self-centered attitudes.  Conviction that I need to seek to Love God more and more.  Conviction that the more I Love God the more He will change me.  The more God changes me, for His purposes, then I will be able to glorify Him and honor Him better, living out my Love for God.

So I come to a conclusion that I need humble myself.  So that I can Love God more which should result in glorifying God in a life of worship.

What about you?

Pastor Bruce

Where is the Love?

Even though I think that the black eyed peas did a good job on the song "where is the love" that is not my inspiration for today's post.  I would love to think I was that hip and cool but, well, I am not. :) ...  Anyway my mind has been pondering the idea of loving each other and how that is supposed to work.  As Christians we are told, instructed even, to love our enemies, to bless those who persecute you.  This is not only to help on a practical level and diffuse conflict, but also to be a testimony of what Jesus has done in our lives.  People more and more have embraced this idea as a part of their outreach.  I am glad to see people take an active love based approach to reaching out to the lost and hopeless world around us.  It is who we are to be as followers of Jesus.

Yet ...  I am troubled.  We are also instructed to love one another.  To show selfless, care, concern, and service for other believers.  we are to live in healthy community, encouraging people and meeting their needs.  We are to be a people known, not for our political moral stance, not for our scowls and frowns at those who do not measure up, not for our strict rules and policies, not for some legalistic mindset about how life is to be lived.  No we are to be known for our love.  This is to be a reputation not just for how we deal with those outside the Faith, but for how we treat each other inside the Faith.

This means we are to go out of our way, out of our comfort zone, away from our own desires and felt needs and instead to embark on a journey of entering the world of others.   so that we can share true love and encouragement with them.  We are to serve each other and that means we are not to get ourselves into silly petty disagreements about things that are different or new, but are not in anyway against the teaching of Scripture.  Here is a great example, I will pick on the men.

We were in a Church that had men's breakfast events every couple of months and their would be a speaker and some singing and some guys in the kitchen making a big breakfast for everyone.  This was a great time and encouraged a lot of the men.  When it was brought forward that it would be good to have something more often.  The idea was quickly shut down because no one would commit to plan and operate such an event more often.  The guys who brought forward the change then responded that the additional times could be simpler, a time of devotional and prayer then go out to a local restaurant for breakfast.  This was met with a scowl and a response along the lines of we don't expect our guys to go out for breakfast, it would become a burden.  This became a problem, a division among men.  It never should have.  Those guys many years ago may have had good points for discussion on both sides of the argument, but there was no real reason for the argument other than some people like control and do not like anything new.

Instead what should have happened is acts of love.  Love should patiently listen to a new idea, it should respond with kind wisdom and encouragement.  On issues like this we should never take a harsh stance, it is simply not worth it.  I believe people mean well but they do not think through how their response to another person's felt need will be taken.  They may not mean to come across as a person who lacks love and care but in their hasty harsh response they do not realize they have hurt others far more than the issue warranted.  We all need to learn to live in a way that shows healthy love.  I know that most of you are like me and it is not "natural".  That is common because showing love is not out of our personality it is a spiritual issue.  How and why and whether we show love to our brothers and sisters in a proper way is a spiritual issue.

We need to repent of our selfish attitudes, when we respond without love it is my own flesh that is responding.  When we respond properly in a loving way, honoring Christ, then it is Jesus in us showing up and responding.  This should be our desire, not to allow our natural person to show up and cause problems.

So let us live in humble repentance, seeking to build one another up in the Faith with encouragement and Love.

Walk on together!

Pastor Bruce

Courage and Corruption

Today's sermon will come from John 2:13-25, and the theme is going to be "corruption".   It can be a challenging topic.  Often we apply this word to those in positions of power, sayings like "power corrupts & absolute power corrupts absolutely", are common in our modern culture.  Yet I believe the Truth is far closer to home and far deeper in perspective.

Corruption starts with our sinful selfish state.  Acts of sin are an outflow of our self centered nature we all receive as humans, passed on through our fathers because of the curse of the fall in Genesis.  This sin and its outcomes will cause corruption if it is left unchecked.  If no one brings correction and there is no repentance, the act of remorse and change from our sinful direction, then corruption will seep in.  Corruption will eventually take power and authority and much damage will be done.  Common examples we hear about have to do with money, lies and sex.  But corruption can often fly beneath the radar for a long time.

Lets consider that people often do not like change.  So instead of listening, praying and responding to God and the voice of the Holy Spirit.  They make decisions based on what is "normal" or what is comfortable or easy.  Yet if we are seeking to make decisions on our own, then we are sinning.  If we have allowed such sinful practices to take control then corruption has set in and we are headed for trouble.

Anytime we are allowing our sin nature to be in a position of control we are in danger of corrupt behavior and decision making.  Even things that seem harmless and acceptable can have deep consequences because we are not seeking to live under the Lordship of Christ.  I am not saying that this is easy to avoid.  It is hard.

We must be courageous, we must make the hard decisions to follow God and seek His voice, regardless of what "we want".  Our own selves should not be the barometer for our decision making.  Our likes, dislikes, emotions and traditions can not be trusted.  God can be trusted.  So please join with me in a stand to be courageous.  Let us be Honest about our fears, hopes, dreams, challenges, etc.. yet let us walk with Integrity, not allowing such things to have a hold on us.  May we be Transparent, not hiding our weakness and failures, but having a true spirit of humility so that God is glorified in us.

As we take on the path of courage, in following Jesus fully.  Part of the path is for us to show great amounts of grace to our brothers and sisters who are struggling with their own selfishness and weakness.  We are to walk with them and help them, not slaughter them like enemies.  Such a negative attitude is from our prideful selves, please do not hold up righteousness in order to damage your brothers and sisters.  True courage to follow Christ sets His glory first and follows the Biblical model for how we are to grow together.

Walk with humble courage!

Pastor Bruce