Criticism and correction are two very hard things to receive. Often we find ourselves on the defensive in either of these situations. In fact some people fail to understand the difference between the two and do not know how to handle or respond to them. It is on my heart today to share some of what God has taught me over the years on these issues.
The Critic ... Often people in ministry especially seem to encounter this person. They never seem to be happy with you, they find fault it seems in everything. So often we tend to write such people off as those who just do not like or support us. We describe them as difficult, complainers, antagonistic and negative. They tend to be painted with a brush that places them in a camp of people who have no value to add and only cause problems or issues. I am not going to say that there is no truth in any of that sentiment but I have come to realize that often people are mis-understood and the more they are mis-understood and they feel that no one is listening to them, they fall into a pattern of trying to be heard. Often this pattern comes across as very negative and harsh. Sure there are some that truly are just against us for some reason but many people labeled that way I think are unjustly labeled because of our lack of dealing with things properly.
When we interact with someone perceived as the Critic, we need to take some time to hear them, even if they are upset and we think they are totally off base. They need to be heard and we need to listen to them for the nuggets of Truth rooted in what they are saying. Even if someone has poor delivery of the information, there may be some Truth to it. So we are first to listen to them.
Second we are to ponder what they are saying and truly ask ourselves and God if this is true and if it is then how am I to respond and if it is not how am I to respond. We must take some time and not respond in a reactive defensive way. If there is even a small amount of Truth present in the message we have received we need to acknowledge that and express what we intend to do about it. The portions of the message that we believe are not valid need to be exposed as such, but in as loving and gracious a way as possible.
Third we must pray for the person who has brought this forward, that God would give them proper insight, patience and grace for others and that they would seek to honor God and learn how to interact with others in a healthy way.
The Correcter ... When we receive correction it is important that we not confuse it with criticism. Too often people feel threatened by even loving and gentle correction and respond poorly. Biblical Correction is always to be done in love and with grace for the person being corrected. It is to follow much prayer and study to ensure that the correction is given properly. When we receive this type of correction we need to respond positively with repentance and a desire to move in a fresh direction. If you believe that the correction is not based on Truth and is incorrect then you must not get upset and defensive but rather you must expose any lies or mis-representations and proclaim Truth in return with grace and love for the other person. Make sure you are walking in humility to receive correction properly, or we can sometimes place ourselves in a sinful prideful state by setting out our arguments of defense and winning over our corrector to see our side even if we are in the wrong. Correction can come not because of our lack of Truth or Logic but because we may have a delivery that causes hurt or division with others. So we must be even more receptive to correction in a healthy way so we can grow and not continue to hurt others.
Just like criticism can be unfounded so can correction, but both need to be dealt with properly. I know this blog is not exhaustive on these matters and I do not consider myself an expert. Rather I have had to learn a lot of these things the hard way, because I was critical, because I was prideful and did not receive correction well. God can work in your life as He has in mine and crush a heart of stone and replace it with a heart of tender flesh.
Keep short accounts with each other and walk in love. Extend forgiveness for the wrongs done and the hurts caused. If God has saved you and your accuser as well, then the same Spirit resides in you both and is grieved when we fail to show humility, grace and love toward one another.
Let us walk together
Pastor Bruce
